Continue part 5

well ... when i decided to move back in with my mom is when things became more interesting... i was already at the point and age that i was like FUCK EVERYONE... and DO NOT TELL ME WHAT TO DO... so i was smoking lots of weed... drinking... and haven sex like it was a HOLIDAY everyday!!... i became friends with this girl and she was like my bestest friend ever... her and i would do everything together.... (i didnt really mention this before..but while in Green Acres Camp... i had my first taste of girls... and i liked it since) so mind you... this girl and i did everything but do that with eachother... (thou i wanted it to happen... it didnt)...we just got into lots of things with eachother... i remember being at her house alot and goin across the street to this guys house and was loving every minute spent there... cause he was so HOTT... and yes i got that real quick... (cause i had it like that too)... it ended as fast as it started to ... i guess cause he got what he wanted... oh well... so i learned the game at this point... I HAD BECOME THE GAME!!...when she would sleep at my house we would be goin out all the time... sneeking out to go to a fight between 2 towns... (so stupid ... but hey i was 15)... and so i remember my mom knowing i snuck out and she caught me comin in... and she acted like she really cared about that... and yelled at me and hit me... and i was like whatever!...(THIS IS WHERE THE BAD THINGS REALLY START TO HAPPEN NOW)... after all the sneeking out and shit ... my girl and i became involved with 2 guys who were way older then us... they were like 21 or somethin... and of course they liked us young girls... we were bad... down for whatever... and they got us to smoke a WU... (which is weed with coke..if you didnt know)... i got sick the very first time i smoked one... cause apparently ur not supposed to mix the 2 but i didnt know that until after i did it... but it was so good... and i liked it... the high was like WHOA... and the guys loved the fact they can do this shit with girls who did it all for them... so from that day on i just got into more drugs ... (oh yea...so before i moved in with my mom again... she told me that she no longer does drugs and that she was clean)... so mind you... my girl and i took a ride with my mom one day cause we had to go to Maryland to do a job that my mom and her boyfriend were doing ...(they worked with steel trusses)... and umm so my mom had told my girl to drive the car and she was like ok... so i am in the back seat and chiki is driving... and my mom was in the passanger seat... and she was like... "candice i am sorry but i need to do this"... she pulled out a crack stem and smoked it and asked me if i wanted to try it... and i cried and yelled and asked her how the hell can you sit there and ask me that?!!... and umm so like she was tellin me that she would rather me do it infront of her then to do it behind her back... and so we ended up gettin to where we were going and umm once i was there .. my girl and i were talken and i was like look i will do it / try it if you do... and so then guess what??!!... we did it... and we liked it... and it became an addiction that i just did not want to stop.. and my mom would sit there and tell me that she wanted control on how much i did and when i did it... LMFAO... what a fuckin trip!!... (sitting here now thinkin of this is maken my stomach fuckin curl!... and i want to just cry and punch someone/something!)... so like i became this druggy that my mom was and umm it brought my life to a new level of things... we lost the apartment that we stayed in.... moved in with my moms friend... he touched me in places that i didnt want to be touched in... and he thought i was enjoying it... once he seen i was crying ... i thought he was goin to hit me and throw me across the room... i told my mom or he did... SHE TELLS ME ITS MY FAULT CAUSE I GOT HIGH WITH HIM!!!!!....NO ITS NOT MY FAULT... I DIDNT TELL HIM TO DO THAT TO ME... i was scared to say stop cause i didnt know if i should... when this happened my mom was stayn at a hotel with her boyfriend to be alone... we moved out of this guys place and SHE STILL BROUGHT THAT GUY AROUND ME...she didnt leave us alone though.... and i didnt want to even be by him so i went away from the spot for a while... so he left and i came back...so at this time we were living in a motel called The GreenBrook Motel... and i was turning 16... do you know what i got for my birthday??...I GOT A FUCKIN HIT OF CRACK!!!...yea... HAPPY FUCKIN 16TH BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!...(what a fuckin life so far)

CONTINUE PART 6

so from that day on.... i told myself that i would not touch drugs again... i drank... i smoked weed... but i didnt touch crack ... i had a job at Bruggers Bagels in Warren... and umm i paid for us to live at the motel... and we lived on spam!!... so yea... now i guess my mom and her boyfriend were at bars and shit in Dunellen... and i am guessing my mom was gettin tired of her man... and she found a new one!!... and jumped in his car... and stayed with him... i didnt talk to my mom for like a week... i didnt know what was goin on... i happend to move to my uncles house (whom i stay with now)... and he was trying to have control on me.. and i jumped out his window and ran away from him... and stayed at my bosses house and ended up getting in contact with my mom somehow... i dont really remember how... but i did... and i met the new man in her life... so now we live in Dunellen!!!... YAY!!!..(not really)... and so i got my own room again... and it was huge!!!... i had a weight set in my room that i used as a clothing rack... lmao... i had a couch and love seat and a coffee table with my full size bed... and a twin bed in my closet... lol... (i had 2 walk in closets ... one on each side).. i had a very big room... it was the size of the whole house... i loved my room!!... well my moms new boyfriend here became more of a father figure to me and i got to meet his 3 little girls whom i took in as sisters in my life... they r so beautiful... and i love them like they are blood... and umm yea i was wild child... i was out late alot... but i learned responsibility... i cleaned the house everyday after school... i cooked and cleaned up dinner... i was able to go out and come home by like 10 or a little later... i been grounded so many times... by my moms boyfriend...(oh yea before i moved to Dunellen... i dropped out of High School)... so now i am back in school cause of him... which was a good thing... but he was a drinker... and at this time NO DRUGS were in the picture... i became really good friends with some girl... she was beautiful... she was the bestest friend ever.. now to be honest ... i ended up doin drugs with her and her father for like 3 months... and then it stopped... but we were still friends... we had done things together (if you know what i mean)... lol.. (askin myself right now if this is something i really want to share)(i guess so)... but her and i been through some shit together... we are on tape from her old house she lived in cause the guy who owned the house had a hidden video cam in her closet... at the time i was like 18 so i didnt have to go to the police station to see it or somethin and i didnt press charges... i forget what happened with that though... anyways... yea... so i ended up doin many more things at this time...(i will be more in depth when i write my book) ... so after she left the school and town i became friends with others... and this other girl was like my HOMIE... she and i were always out on the town driving to many places... and smoking lots of weed... lmao... i remember one time we were only like a house away from my house blazing up in my boy's car and she was like ... "where are we?"... lmfao i was like we aint to far from my house... she would not believe me... we so smoked ourselves stupid... ha ha... her and i didnt do anything together... she wasnt like that... but that is besides the point...she i would have to say was a very good best friend... and she was there for me... her family was there as well.. i felt like i belonged to a nice family for a change... people who open their hearts out to strangers.... is someone in my book that is worth holding on too... cause some people would not even think of opening their doors to some.... (ya know what i mean?!)



*Now i can go on and on about things... but i want to talk about somethin else... and that is why i make add ons to what i have already posted*